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Please Look After Mom: A Review

19Jun | 2011

posted by Paula

Please Look After Mom is a beautiful, sad and lyrical tale for anyone who has ever had a Mom or been a Mom. This one came to me as part of the national book club influencer program for http://www.EverythingMom.com and I found myself reading it with difficulty. This is not an easy story. The plot begins when the mother of a successful family in Korea goes missing at a train station in Seoul. It is an amazing rapid start to the plot that cannot help but hook you instantly. The mother, it is revealed, has been suffering stunning headaches and previously battled breast cancer. Through each one of the grown children, the mother’s story is revealed slowly as that of a young girl who grew up in poverty in the Korean countryside and could not be educated or kept safe beyond a certain age. So instead she was presented to a man, a stranger, for an arranged marriage. Together they build a home and have four children. The young mother excels at feeding and nourishing things. Her gardening ability is unparalleled. Everything she touches blooms and her young family grows strong and successful. But they move on and for the most part still see their mother as she is defined within the context of home. The mother is a martyr and she goes to great extremes to nourish family and farm. This is a book with a unique narrative style utlizing the second person throughout. That is a quite uncommon technique as most novelists employ first person or third person. Often second person is tricky and not well done. But here the effect is one of drawing the reader fully into the story almost as their own character, a family member themselves participating in the retelling of the mother’s life and the search. It is a remarkable accomplishment. Some chapters are told from the viewpoints of the different children and the husband as well. As we meet each one of the adult children we discover them realizing how little they know of their mother’s inner life. It is a sad statement of fact that the daughter, a writer, when preparing a poster seeking help to find the mising mother, doesn’t know her mother’s true birthdate. A further sad statement on the marriage is revealed in the chapter when the hard as nails father of the family returns to their marital home and lays in bed overcome with grief that astonishes even him. He reflects on his habit of always walking too far ahead of the mother as a habit that may have led to her disappearance. And he understands too late how uncaring this one daily ritual must have seemed to his spouse. He understands too late also that he should have fought harder for better health care for his talented and undemanding wife. He feels guilt and shame and suprising amounts of love. Similarly each of the children realize the many sacrifices their mother made daily and they wonder if she was ever happy. They are all healthy and very successful in their fields. “After Mom went missing, I realized there’s an answer to everything. I could have done everything she wanted me to. It wasn’t important. I don’t know why I got under her skin over things like that.” Please Look Ater Mom is sad and beautiful and not for the faint of heart. It is a great story of sacrifice and, despite its fictional basis, speaks volumes about family relationships. It speaks to of the heart’s many facets and the grief that comes with losing your strongest anchor in the world. “Even though Mom’s missing, summer will come and fall will come again and winter will come, like this. And I’ll be living in a world without Mom.” The daughter has always had such a complicated relationship with her mother, but she alos realizes her mother’s impact too late. She wrestles as an unmarried female with whether her mother succeeded in life, or was ever happy or content. She grapples too with how good a daughter she was or was not. Her desparate search is weighted with all of the events in her past and her unexpressed sentiments. It is pure tragedy. It is a rare book that causes a reader to reflect on their own life with an eye to change. This one has that ability.

Please Look After Mom, by Kyung-Sook Shin, is by Random House Canada. $29.95 hardcover and 237 pages (translated from the Korean)

This is a $$$$ 1/2 out of $$$$$.

I received a copy of this book for free in order to review it.

Filed Under: book reviews, books, family entertainment, international bestellers, Kyung-Sook Shin, life, Random House, reading

Disaster Preparedness: A Memoir

2Jan | 2011

posted by Paula


In a memoir entitled Disaster Preparedness nothing much happens at all – unless you count the daily business of life and growing up in the 70s as a disaster. Heather Havrilesky is author of the sarcastic Rabbit blog. Up until this past year she was a staff writer at Salon.com. Havrilesky’s blog is clever and entertaining. She tackles all manner of pop culture, entertainment and personalities. At the heart of this non-fiction memoir is an interesting metaphor about life and the messy process of growing up at a time when children were raised in a culture of fear. Hard not to grow up slightly maladapted or anxious if some adult, teacher or newscaster is always shouting “It’s the end of the world!”  The Iran Hostage Crisis, The Regan years and constant threats of World War 3 were reference points for Havrilesky’s formative years. The cultural references here in Disaster Preparedness are both fun, resonant and slightly grating. At times the references were a bit overly familiar to me, a writer of about the same age as Havrilesky. In fact at times I felt as if I might have been reading a story of my own early years. Havrilesky was raised by parents that argued bitterly and then got a divorce, which is hardly earth shattering. Many children of the time period were in the same boat. Havrilesky’s gift is sarcasm and she excels at recreating the 70s in fine detail. There are scenes here of birthday parties gone awry and parents acting out ridiculous soap operas as if life too were a performance. “Around the time my parents stopped making the slightest effort to hide their distaste for each other, we started taking long family vacations in the car each summer. This is the perverse logic of two people caught in a crumbling marriage: Instead of spending as little time together as possible, they vow to spend more time together, thinking they might reignite some lost spark through the purgatory of enforced contact.” She is at her best when skewering rights of passage like high school cheerleading tryouts, which she dubs a masochistic ritual. Sarcasm is one of the most difficult tools for a writer to make jump off the page, but Havrilesky’s on line writing has clearly helped her to hone this style. Fans who follow her on line writing will enjoy this memoir, but it is not the type of read that will appeal to everyone. At times I couldn’t wait for this book to be done, but I love a good metaphor and this idea of life as a great series of disasters that happen between the lines while waiting on perfection, well that is a truly gorgeous use of this literary device. And the ending, well it is empowering and lovely and strangely perfect.

Thriftymommasbrainfood rating $$$ out of $$$$$
• Disaster Preparedness, by Heather Havrilesky, Dec. 30, 2010 Riverhead Hardcover Books (Penguin Books USA), New York, 256 pages, $25.95 or $32.50 Canada, Hardcover ISBN 978-1-59448-768-2

I was given a copy of this book to review. My opinion is all my own.

Filed Under: Iran Hostage Crisis, life, memoirs, Regan, Riverhead books, salon.com, sarcasm, writing

Embracing Your Second Calling: A review and giveaway

14Sep | 2010

posted by Paula

Embracing Your Second Calling by Dale Hanson Bourke asks middle-aged women to examine the second half of life and find meaning or purpose. This is a self help book with a highly religious tone, but what caught my eye about this one was the fact that it is geared entirely towards women. Not only that, but this book  also targets a demographic that has traditionally been discarded, having metaphorically peaked and been seen as headed downhill slowly towards sunset. Hanson Bourke has written an engaging, light-hearted workbook of sorts for women whose children may have left home and moved on to college. It will also appeal to women who may simply wish to reinvent themselves after a divorce or those who desire career change. Whether that looks like a 50ish Mom leaving full-time office work to suddenly become a fashion model, or a woman sandwiched between caregiving roles as daughter, mother and wife suddenly emancipated as the home becomes an empty nest, this book is a simple therapeutic way to work through the idea of what might be next. Embracing Your Second Calling: Finding Passion and Purpose for the Rest of Your Life is a great gift book for women over 50, even more useful for those past 60, a demographic often discarded. Sprinkled throughout the book are suggestions of ways you may Reflect on your life’s purpose or Act with a group of peers. This type of format lends itself nicely to book clubs and bible study groups. There are numerous talking points for those who choose this as a book club selection. For instance: “Reflect: How are you better today than you were in your twenties or thirties?” Often I have heard it said that the twenties are about striving and the thirties about growing career and family and the forties then in terms of a woman’s lifespan can be viewed as a more comfortable point of enjoying some of that work done during the earlier decades. Yet most are still working or perhaps even now re-entering the workforce after a period of time away raising children. So what of the 50s, 60s and 70s? Well, I guess that is the point of the book to help more women think, to inspire confidence and action. This book will also be helpful to those looking to start a mentoring group for younger women. Hanson Bourke is president of the CIDRZ Foundation, a wife and mother of two grown boys. She was previously a marketing and publishing director and now supports charitable Christian works that raise money for African health issues like Aids, malaria and cervical cancer research. She lives in Washington, D.C.

Embracing Your Second Calling, by Dale Hanson Bourke is published by Thomas Nelson and is $16.99 US. The softcover is 223 pages. May 4, 2010.
thriftymommastips review is $$$$ out of $$$$$. A great gift book or book club selection.

Thriftymommastips is not paid to review books; instead a free copy of the book is provided by the publisher, as is common practice in media. The opinions in this review are all mine.

For a chance to win a copy of this book, draw on Sept. 23rd, open to US and Canada all you need to do is:
1. Leave a comment here with your contact information. Tell me one interesting life goal you look forward to in the second half of your life.
2. Follow me on twitter @inkscrblr.
3. Follow brainfood on GFC. see side of blog.

Good luck!

Filed Under: books, Christian women's books, giveaways, God, life, reflection, self-help books, Thomas Nelson

Sean Aiken, the One-Week Job Guru

3May | 2010

posted by Paula

He found true love, tried out 52 different jobs and, along the way took the temperature of an entire generation, kickstarting a one-week job empire. Sean Aiken, author of The One-Week Job Project spoke with thriftymomma last week about the U.S. release of his book this coming week and a summer job project like no other. From firefighter to yoga instructor. From cowboy to fundraiser, Sean Aiken has tried it all. Aiken is author of The One-Week Job Project and a media sensation. In one year Aiken, a recent college graduate from Port Moody, B.C. tried on as many hats as possible in search of a career that sparked his passion. His idea attracted attention from around North America. “When I first started this project I thought I was alone in this search,” Aiken told thriftymomma. But Aiken quickly learned the topic hit a nerve and legions of fans understood the universal search for a career they were passionate about. This week Random House publishes his book in the United States. This month I had the pleasure of reading the story, a fun, light and, at times, philosophical look at life and the relationship we have with our career and our colleagues. The year he spent examining himself and his own passions led him to employers who were self obsessed and those who were selfless, those who tirelessly worked for non profits raising funds to help cure cancer and those who promoted films pompously self inflated and egomaniacal. There are numerous excellent glimpses into really interesting career paths. Aiken recalls some of his favourites: “My answer changes. I really enjoyed being a park ranger in Hawaii and a real estate agent.” In the book, his fondness for Steam Whistle Brewing, a microbrewery, in Toronto makes this one of the highlights. Clearly this employer has a knack for treating employees right and a reputation for knocking off work at 5:30 and rounding up the crew for a trip through downtown Toronto on the Steam Whistle party bus. Throughout the book the media attention Aiken attracted first shocked him and then became a little too familiar. He chronicles the trials of keeping up with the media requests and the dangers of falling into a trap where you begin to believe all of the hype created by the image machine. Early in his travels Aiken attracted a sponsor and was fortunate to be able to have this unique quest funded in part by NiceJob. Along the way he met a girl named Danna, from Toronto, who endures the lengthy separations and ups and downs of the bizarre year. Thriftymomma wanted to know if Danna and Sean were still together and readers will be glad to know they are happily living in B. C. Later on in the book Sean’s mother is diagnosed with cancer causing him to question whether he can finish the journey or not. But Aiken clarifies his mother is well now. “I could definitely see myself teaching at some point,” says Aiken. “For now I am really enjoying giving the talks. It has been so rewarding to have so many students come up to me afterwards and say how much the book resonated with them.”

This book, blog and web site, http://www.oneweekjob.com/ are all very entertaining.The book is excellent for anyone contemplating a job change or searching for a career. It would be a lovely graduation gift for a high school or university student. On the One-Week Job site a new project, which is a mini version of the book, has been spun off into a contest starting this summer. The winners net $3,000 to try out 8 different jobs, hopefully finding their passion in the process. Entrants must be 18 years of age. Each individual will sculpt their own path and line up their own series of jobs to try out. Interest has been very good so far, he notes.

Sean Aiken
The One-Week Job Project, Penguin Canada, 2010, 288 pages, $19.
To be released in the U.S. next week Random House.
Thriftymommastips rating $$$$$ out of $$$$$. Highly entertaining and informative. Enjoyable and insightful. Thriftymomma doesn’t receive compensation for her reviews, instead publishers send one free copy for review.

Filed Under: books, Canada, careers, family entertainment, jobs, life, reading, Sean Aiken, The One-Week Job Project, thriftymommastips, Toronto, youth

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About Paula


Keeper of the Sanity - Freelance journalist, social media consultant and community manager. I build buzz for you. #KelloggersNetwork. Twitter Party junkie. Published in magazines, newspapers, on TV, radio etc.

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