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Living Without The One You Cannot Live Without #Giveaway

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Many of my regular readers over at thriftymommastips.com know this past year has been a hard one. Right before Mother’s Day one year ago my Mom passed away. The loss of a parent is much harder than I could have ever imagined. It is fraught with little emotional land mines you sometimes don’t see until you are crying or heartsick.

Recently a publishing contact sent me this book Living Without the One You Can’t Live With Out: Hope and Healing After Loss. I assumed the book would be self help, but it is a different creature entirely. Living Without the One You Can’t Live Without is a subtle, quiet, realistic book of poems by a lovely remarkable woman named Natasha Josefowitz. Josefowitz published this shortly after her husband of many years passed away. They were married 35 years. Josefowitz was born in Paris to Russian parents. She earned her Master’s degree at 40 and her PHD at 50. That alone is reason to support this author. What a brilliant career feat! She taught the first course in the US on women and management in 1976. She is remarkably accomplished, and much of that achievement came later in life. I liked her even before I picked the book up and began reading.

The poetry within Living Without the One You Can’t Live Without is sombre, and realistic and dripping with emotion. It takes you into the doctor’s offices and the recovery spaces at home, then it whisks you off to the funeral, the days and months after when survival is your operating mode. This is a lovely book, simple and true. The poems aren’t forced or rhyming. They are lyrical at times and not at others. They are mostly helpful for anyone who has experienced loss. The poems are sometimes hard to read in a psychological sense, but they speak clearly to the experience of grief. I really like this book and I am struggling to find the words to tell you why exactly, which is odd for me. But I want to say that there is comfort in common experience and this is the place where Living Without the One You Cannot Live Without excels and dwells. It will not take away grief or pain, and it will not preach how to grieve at you, instead Josefowitz’s words will help you feel less alone and there is much to be said for that.

I have a copy of this book to give to one of my readers. Follow the instructions below and PLEASE don’t forget to leave me an email address or something to help me track you down if you win. Good Luck! This is open to Canada and the US.

Twelve Pearls of Christmas: Guest Series and Giveaway: Grief and Loss Near Christmas

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Welcome to the 12 Pearls of Christmas! Enjoy these Christmas “Pearls of Wisdom” Please follow along through Christmas day as each post shares heartfelt stories of how God has touched a life during this most wonderful time of the year. AND BEST OF ALL … there’s also a giveaway! Fill out the quick form at the link located at the bottom of this post to be entered to win a PEARL NECKLACE, BRACELET AND EARRINGS!  Pearls – a tangible reminder of God’s grace to us all.

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Hurting Near Christmas? 10 Tips to Hope Again
by Stacie Ruth Stoelting

Feel sad this Christmas? Hey, I know the feeling. In fact, many programs have interviewed me to share about it! Last year, I tried particularly hard to share stories and tips on how to cope with grief during the holidays: I wrote a feature for CBN.com, Coping with Grief at Christmas, visited and counseled grieving people, etc. Then irony hit: Near Christmas, two people I loved died within two days (December 15-16, 2009).

Before I continue with tips, let me share this: If you feel suicidal, contact an emergency counseling service like the New Life Call Center at 1-800-NEW-LIFE(639-5433).
10 Tips for Hurting Hearts to Hope and Cope at Christmastime
1.    Realize and internalize it: God still loves you and wants to hear from you. He wants you to know that there is a Way out of your pit of despair. The Way is Jesus.

2.    Sometimes, our suffering causes us to forget His. Understand He understands you. He suffered more than any of us when we bore the weight of every sin and pain on the cross! In fact, Is. 53:3 describes Jesus: “He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.” Think of it: He took your punishment and pain on the cross. He was your capital punishment Substitute! And your Deliverer -your Rescuer- wants to hear from you. His heart hurts with yours. Will you pour your heart out to Him now? He’ll pour His love in where the fear previously resided. Let Jesus inside. Do you know Jesus on a personal, one-to-One basis?  Visit here to learn why Jesus was born to die and how to be born again. (Hey, Jesus said it: “You must be born again.”)

3.    Rather than mere gifts, make a Christmas prayer list of other hurting people. Then pray for them and request prayer for yourself, too. Contact your church. Tap into ministries (including CBN.com) that offer extra prayer support. And feel free to join my prayer e-group at www.PrayingPals.org or on Facebook by clicking here.

4.    End the Christmas comparison game. Don’t compare your Christmas to your neighbor’s. Don’t compare your Christmas to past celebrations.

5.    Center on the Savior! This year, trade a superficial Christmas for a real one. Deepen your appreciation for the true Christmas: the arrival of Jesus Christ to banish the effects of sin and death!

6.    Whatever your loss or pain, open up and let God be your Gain. Maybe your pain comes from another cause: a divorce, a devastating diagnosis, a job loss…the list extends. God offers to be your Counselor, your Father, your Healer, your Provider. Let Him answer your heart’s cry.

7.    Love on people. Even if you don’t “feel” like it, prayerfully do something for someone else who is hurting.

8.    Remember: Feelings change. God doesn’t. Loved ones’ deaths never kill His love for you. God’s immeasurable, unconditional love still flows to you! When you know Jesus, you know eternal love and security. Nothing separates you from His love! “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39, ESV).

9.    Realize the reality of the sudden reunion. Holidays exacerbate the feeling of long separation from our loved ones in Heaven. Does it feel like it will take forever for you to see your loved one in Heaven? Be encouraged: Jesus IS coming again and it will be a time you don’t expect! So the fact that you feel like it won’t happen soon is a good thing!  Once reunited, it will feel like no time transpired. All sadness will be entirely removed!

10.    When Jesus comes back to earth, it will be a celebration greater than any previous Christmas you’ve ever experienced!

For believers, losses hurt but never win. We will celebrate Jesus together -and it will be glorious “for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith” (I John 5:4, NIV). In that Day, all believers will be able to jubilantly say, “Merry Christmas to all and to all the true Light! Additional Help: Ready for some practical tips for coping with grief at Christmastime? Here’s one: Rearrange furniture to reduce absence reminders. To read this tip and others found in another of my CBN.com’s articles: “Coping with Grief at Christmas”, visit http://www.cbn.com/.
Going thru a rough time? Join Stacie Ruth’s prayer group at http://www.prayingpals.org/.

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About Stacie: Stacie Ruth knows pain, but she also knows Jesus! After Stacie Ruth met Jesus, her life blossomed with true joy and purpose. Life’s blows hurt her, but Jesus heals and strengthens her. Now an author, actress, and recording artist, she laughs at the irony and praises God, who uses unlikely people…like herself.  Discover why she’s written a book at age 15, sung/spoken for the 43rd President, been pictured in major media (i.e. The New York Times, USA Today), and keynoted conferences since she was a teenager. To watch video clips, worship Jesus with music from her album, or get in touch with her ministry for women, visit http://www.brightlightministries.com/.

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A three strand pearl necklace will be given away on New Year’s Day. All you need to do to have a chance of winning is {FILL OUT THIS QUICK ENTRY FORM}. One entry per person, per day. The winner will be announced on the Pearl Girls Blog (http://margaretmcsweeney.blogspot.com/) on New Years Day!12 Pearls of Christmas Series and contest sponsored by Pearl Girls®. For more information, please visit http://www.pearlgirls.info/

Sima’s Undergarments For Women

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As luck would have it the novels I have lately been given all tend to have some infertility, loss or adoption theme. Happenstance, or some greater design, I am not so sure. Perhaps more people are exploring these themes through fiction. Sima’s Undergarments for Women is a really moving story of a childless woman who runs a bra and panty store in the basement of her home in Brooklyn. Sima is an expert on lingerie. Nobody else can merely look at the customer coming through her door and tell immediately, almost always without fail, exactly what size and style, cup and width is needed for support. Sima’s store is a mirror of the community she lives in, a female hangout and place of bonding. She is an entrepreneur in her 60s seemingly content with her life and business until a young beautiful Isreali named Timna comes to her store looking for a bra and leaves with a job as seamstress. The closer they work together the greater the promise she sees in the young, carefree version of herself and soon Sima is casting herself in the role of surrogate mother to the young displaced woman. This eventually becomes the source of conflict as Timna grows to resent Sima who has trouble accepting boundaries. Ilana Stanger-Ross is an interesting author and a practicing midwife now living in British Columbia. She has received several prizes for her work including the Timothy Findley Fellowship. She writes authentic and heart-wrenching scenes that revolve around infertility. Sima carries most of the burden of this alone, seeking treatment and consulting doctors earlier on in their marriage, her husband a distant observor of her pain and stoicism. Stanger-Ross pushes the envelope here when she is exploring the ways in which a married couple can lapse into moments of over familiarity, and even emotional cruelty. Lev is the cuckholded husband who seems to take everything Sima can dish out and more until he is finally forced to stand up and call her out when she crosses the line in a brutally harsh scene where wife tries to make husband into her dressmaker’s dummy for lingerie. This is a book that is filled with rich metaphors and I love a good metaphor. She has built a career selling something very intimate and yet her life is completely devoid of intimacy. Sima’s store is in the basement of her home, for instance, the foundation upon which her world sits. She sells foundation garments. Just as a good bra gives support physically to a woman’s breasts, Sima’s shop is a central community hub for women seeking support.
Sima’s Undergarments for Women, by Ilana Stanger-Ross, Penguin Canada, 2009, paperback 2010. $15.00 U.S and $18.50 Canada. This novel gets $$$$ out of $$$$$.

I was not compensated for this review, but received a copy of the book from the publisher, as is common practice in media.