self-help books Archives -

Embracing Your Second Calling by Dale Hanson Bourke asks middle-aged women to examine the second half of life and find meaning or purpose. This is a self help book with a highly religious tone, but what caught my eye about this one was the fact that it is geared entirely towards women. Not only that, but this book also targets a demographic that has traditionally been discarded, having metaphorically peaked and been seen as headed downhill slowly towards sunset. Hanson Bourke has written an engaging, light-hearted workbook of sorts for women whose children may have left home and moved on to college. It will also appeal to women who may simply wish to reinvent themselves after a divorce or those who desire career change. Whether that looks like a 50ish Mom leaving full-time office work to suddenly become a fashion model, or a woman sandwiched between caregiving roles as daughter, mother and wife suddenly emancipated as the home becomes an empty nest, this book is a simple therapeutic way to work through the idea of what might be next. Embracing Your Second Calling: Finding Passion and Purpose for the Rest of Your Life is a great gift book for women over 50, even more useful for those past 60, a demographic often discarded. Sprinkled throughout the book are suggestions of ways you may Reflect on your life’s purpose or Act with a group of peers. This type of format lends itself nicely to book clubs and bible study groups. There are numerous talking points for those who choose this as a book club selection. For instance: “Reflect: How are you better today than you were in your twenties or thirties?” Often I have heard it said that the twenties are about striving and the thirties about growing career and family and the forties then in terms of a woman’s lifespan can be viewed as a more comfortable point of enjoying some of that work done during the earlier decades. Yet most are still working or perhaps even now re-entering the workforce after a period of time away raising children. So what of the 50s, 60s and 70s? Well, I guess that is the point of the book to help more women think, to inspire confidence and action. This book will also be helpful to those looking to start a mentoring group for younger women. Hanson Bourke is president of the CIDRZ Foundation, a wife and mother of two grown boys. She was previously a marketing and publishing director and now supports charitable Christian works that raise money for African health issues like Aids, malaria and cervical cancer research. She lives in Washington, D.C.

Embracing Your Second Calling, by Dale Hanson Bourke is published by Thomas Nelson and is $16.99 US. The softcover is 223 pages. May 4, 2010.
thriftymommastips review is $$$$ out of $$$$$. A great gift book or book club selection.

Thriftymommastips is not paid to review books; instead a free copy of the book is provided by the publisher, as is common practice in media. The opinions in this review are all mine.

For a chance to win a copy of this book, draw on Sept. 23rd, open to US and Canada all you need to do is:
1. Leave a comment here with your contact information. Tell me one interesting life goal you look forward to in the second half of your life.
2. Follow me on twitter @inkscrblr.
3. Follow brainfood on GFC. see side of blog.

Good luck!

The Language of Love and Respect promises better communication with your mate and falls under the spiritual growth genre of self help books. It is a book I would not normally read as I frankly find the whole self help genre to be completely overdone and overhyped. I believe in living my life daily while trying to be fully present for experiences as they present themselves. Frankly I have always been baffled by people who seek spiritual awareness in a book. So the self help genre for me is a self indulgent and odd little phenomenon. The Language of Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has not changed my view of this type of book. To be clear there were probably a few good pointers in this book, but most of them seemed as if they’d already been written about somewhere else. The premise of this language is that men communicate essentially in blue while women communicate in pink. Women see things with pink sunglasses and men with blue; women hear things with pink hearing aids and men with blue. While the references to pink and blue are clearly old fashioned and stereotypical, the theory has a bit of merit. One need only drive on a roadtrip with a man anywhere to realize this theory. I explain it in terms of Google Maps. When I drive and navigate towards a destination I print out Google turn by turn word directions. It helps me to know when and where to turn. My husband, on the other hand, proved my theory this summer on a road trip to Ohio. He was stunned I hadn’t printed out the actual map. Pink glasses. Blue glasses. I call it google map theory. The entire philosophy present in The Language is a bit too reminiscent of Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus. The language in this book also threw me as a reviewer. The author also describes what he calls the “Crazy Cycle” as the space in a communication exchange where you are trapped and communicating at cross purposes. The grown up verison of “No I didn’t.” “Yes, you did.” In his defence he does give several examples of how to get off the cycle or avoid the cycle. He cites this as an example: on an occasion when his wife was planning to go help a friend with a new baby, she previously noted she would be going to him, but when it came closer to the event, she told him again and the author realizes he didn’t remember her saying anything about the new baby. He suggests that as it is typically a male trait to not listen carefully enough, that it was his fault. Instead of stating: “You did not tell me that.” the author paused and realized he was at fault. Instead the statement to his wife was something like this: “I am sorry, I don’t recall hearing you tell me that you were going. I apologize I must not have been listening.” If men read this type of book then there may be a few lessons learned from these types of examples. Still I wish he’d thought this out with more sensitivity to terminology. The term “Crazy Cycle” is somewhat offensive. Eggerichs is a P.H.D. and a Pastor who runs marriage clinics and counselling groups. He lives in East Lansing, Michigan. There are a few worthwhile communication lessons here, but this sadly is not a book I would go out of my way to buy as it has been done before, and I think also better, by other authors.

The Language of Love and Respect gets a $$ out of $$$$$

Thomas Nelson Publishers, $14.99 U.S. 2007 originally published as Cracking The Communication Code. (sadly a better title the first time around.)

Thriftymomma was not compensated in any way for this review but received a free copy of the book from the publisher.

Embracing Your Second Calling: A review and giveaway

The Language of Love and Respect or Google Map Theory